EP49, Most People Don't Have Goals, They Have Wishes

Most people set goals every January and quit by February. It's not a discipline problem. The goal was never really theirs to begin with.

In this episode, Matt walks through how to set a goal that actually pulls you, why your role model might be the wrong person to study, and a 3-minute exercise that'll tell you whether the goal you're chasing is real or borrowed from someone else's highlight reel.

This one gets personal.

Role Model vs Mentor (and why you probably need both): They do different jobs. One you study from a distance, one is in your corner pushing back. Most people conflate them and end up with neither.

The Accessibility Test: Why picking a role model who's twenty steps ahead of you turns into inspiration porn instead of a useful study, and the simple filter that makes it work.

The Anti-Role Model: Sometimes the most powerful person to study isn't ahead of you. It's a version of yourself you refuse to go back to. Matt shares his.

The Tuesday Test (a.k.a. the Perfect Day Exercise): A 3-layer guided walkthrough that turns vague goals into specific identity. Morning, midday, evening, plus the gut check that tells you if your goal is real.

Goals Aren't Additions, They're Subtractions: The part of goal setting most people skip, and why it's the difference between a goal that lands and a wish that doesn't.

The 5-Point Criteria: A simple checklist for the difference between a goal that'll pull you through the boring middle and a wish that won't.

If you've ever set a goal that felt flat the moment you said it out loud, this episode is for you.

Transcript

Welcome And The Real Goal Problem

Matt 0:00

Let's go. Welcome to Unstoppable by Design, where we talk all things fitness, mindset, and what it truly means to be unstoppable inside and outside the gym. Today we're talking goals, but not in the way you've heard it a hundred times. We're going to talk about role models, we're going to talk about an anti-role model, and I'm going to walk you through an exercise that'll tell you in about three minutes whether the goal you're chasing is actually yours

Why Most Goals Die By February

Matt 0:28

or whether you borrowed it from somebody else's highlight reel. Stick with me on this one, it gets personal. People set goals every January. Most are gone by February. The reason isn't discipline. It's that the goal was never theirs to begin with. Borrowed from a feed, a friend, comparison. A real goal needs three things. That's a why, a picture, and someone you're studying. Today we're going through all three. Quick distinction before we go any further: a role model is someone you study from a distance to see how a life like that actually operates. A mentor is someone in your corner who pushes back on you directly. Different jobs,

Role Model Versus Mentor Clarified

Matt 1:14

people conflate them and they end up with neither. For role models, here's the filter I'd use. Pick someone two or three steps ahead of you, not twenty. You need to be able to see how they make decisions on a random Tuesday, not just look at the highlight reel. Otherwise, it's inspiration, it's not a real study. The whole point is to learn how a life like that gets built day to day. So here's where it gets personal. I'll tell you mine, and it's probably not what you'd expect. My role model isn't someone ahead of me, it's a version of myself that I refuse to go back to. He wasn't a bad guy, he wasn't evil. He was just a guy making decisions without all the

The Anti Role Model That Drives You

Matt 2:00

information. Confrontational about things, he didn't actually have the answers to. Quick to judge, quick to react, slow to listen. What changed for me was learning to slow down, learning to lead with curiosity before rushing to judgment or action. That single shift changed my relationships, it changed how I coach, it changed how I parent, and it changed how I run this gym. And here's the reframe I want to give you. Your role model doesn't have to be someone ahead of you. It can be a version of you you refuse to go back to. One pulls you forward, one pushes you forward. Some people need the pull, some people need the push. Most of us need both. This is growth mindset in practice. It's one of our core values at Juggernaut for a reason, and you're not stuck as the version of you that you used to be. Now, all right, let's talk about the exercise. So, what I'd like you to do, and if you can do this safely, do it with me. If you're driving, just listen and come back to it later. I'm going to walk you through three layers. Don't rush them. Layer one, it's the morning. It's a Tuesday, a year from now. You

The Tuesday Perfect Day Visualization

Matt 3:11

wake up, what time is it? What's the first thing you do? And not what you wish. What's actually true if this goal landed? What are you wearing? What bre what does breakfast look like? How do you feel in your body when you stand up? I want you to picture all of these when you're setting a goal. Now, layer two, it's the middle of the day. What does your work look like? Who are you around? And here's the important one. What are you no longer doing that you're doing right now? Because goals aren't just additions, they're subtractions. Something has to come off the plate to make room for what you're chasing. And finally, layer three, the evening time, you're winding down. What did you do today that the current version of you wouldn't have done? Who are you proud to have been today? Now, here comes the gut check. How do you feel right now imagining that, that perfect day? How does your body react? If it's flat, the goal is probably wrong, or it's borrowed from somebody else. If something tightens in your chest, even a little, that's

The Gut Check For Borrowed Goals

Matt 4:23

the real one. I want you to close this out by writing down one sentence and and picture this for your goals. Right, a year from now, I am the kind of person who blank. That's the picture. Identity, not outcomes. So if you don't have a goal yet and you just ran through that exercise and came up empty, that's okay. Most people don't have a goal, they have a wish. There's a difference. Here's the criteria for a goal that'll actually pull you. It should scare you a little. You can describe what a Tuesday looks like if you hit it, it costs you something to pursue, meaning you have to subtract,

Five Criteria For A Real Goal

Matt 5:07

not just add. You'd be proud to tell your kid or someone you respect about it, and it's yours. It's not borrowed from someone else's highlight reel. If your goal hits four out of those five, you're on to something. If it hits two or fewer, keep looking. Wishes won't carry you through the boring middle. Goals will. Number one, write down your role model or your anti-role model in one sentence. Who do you want to be or who are you refusing to go back to? Number two, do the Tuesday exercise on paper. It's also called the perfect day. Don't

Write It Down And Do It

Matt 5:56

skip the subtraction part. That's the part most people skip, and it's the part that matters most. Either one moves the needle, both is better. You don't have to know who you want to become yet. Sometimes it's enough to know who you're not going back to. That's a goal worth chasing. Until next time, be well. Be unstoppable.